Only recently I have joined the Transgender online community due to being stealth* for over 3 years. But in the short 6 months of now being part of this community I have seen a number of things that seem rather ironic and somewhat disheartening.
One example in particular severely hit a sore spot and I just want to say how wrong some people are, to quickly judge, despite coming from a community which tells us not to do exactly that.
Just like myself, my partner recently joined this community and during the beginning of her time in one particular community group she got off on the wrong foot. This was due to lack of understanding on minority issues and instead of reaching out and explaining, all she got was calling outs on how ‘uneducated’ she was. It seems in some community groups it’s more a war on who-knows-more about minorities, and is a part of these, rather than simply explaining and assuming best intentions, so word to these people; being different makes you unique but it certainly doesn’t make you any better than another.
So come recently she put herself forward after becoming more educated, stating how she had developed and wanted to share this development only to have her past misdoings dug up by one member. Now why am I bringing this up you may ask?
Well, yesterday on a different group the very same girl who was told she was ‘unfit to represent’ one trans community reached out to a fellow trans person and offered to make a phone call on their behalf. This may not seem like much, to many nothing at all, but honestly if I had of had someone like that in my life during the beginning of my transition it would have made things a hell of a lot easier. Dysphoria and general anxiety made (and still to some degree this very day -makes) phone calls a dreaded experience. This is a simple very honest act of kindness displayed by one fantastic girl who I’ve seen grow day by day. Yet some people were very quick to judge her due to the past and rather than give her a chance. Many, even in the community, wouldn’t even offer that good deed but it sincerely put a tear in my eye.
To be honest that sort of ‘better than you’ behaviour saddens me about the transgender community, people are quick to judge, act unfairly and essentially be nasty but think because they are part of the minority this is okay. It’s not. Please remember we are all fighting the same battle against what is or isn’t a boy/girl, its a hard battle so please be kind.
The point of this post is that although community can be defined as ‘a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common’ it is also defined as ‘the condition of sharing or having certain attitudes and interests in common.’ and I believe this is more important.
We are all transgender, that is the characteristic in common, but our attitudes and interests of how we approach the world and our own community should be that of the same. Act kind, assume best intentions and simply consider if it was you in the others shoes.
That’s all for now.
*Stealth – living in secret so I was passing as cis-gendered and not disclosing my transgender status.