As it’s Pride month, and although being Transgender does make me part of the LGBT community, the main focus at Pride is regarding sexuality and that’s why I thought I’d discuss mine, my relationship with it and how it’s developed.

Before transitioning I came out to a few as Bi and then Lesbian, but since coming out as Transgender I felt this made these ‘coming out’s’ somewhat void.

You see the issue itself wasn’t sexuality at all, I just put that label on what I was feeling as I didn’t fully understand what I was going through. I wanted something that allowed me to present in a more masculine way and by coming out as ‘lesbian’ this was seen as more socially acceptable.

However, this exploration of my identity, through presenting in a more masculine way, made me come to the realisation that I was transgender and thus lead to a new relationship with my body.

Sex and sexuality is a very personal matter, before transitioning I was always going to be seen as someone’s ‘girlfriend’ and by coming out as lesbian I was able to play the role of the more ‘butch’ partner and compensate for my own insecurities regarding gender. However, throughout my transition, with each step, I began to see the changes and myself more as the man I wanted to be seen as all along. This new found pride in my own body meant I felt more confident to share it with others and still be seen as male, because I was all along, I just didn’t realise it until after pursuing my medical transition.

So that leads to the question: what is my sexual orientation?

Simply put, I don’t like labels but what I do like is people. There is a label for this and that would be ‘pansexual’ – this is defined as being “not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender or gender identity”

Maybe this came about because with any relationship I entered I had to ask my potential partner to be open to the idea of me. I was born biologically female but my gender identity is now male. From this I began to question ‘if I’m asking other people to be more open and simply accept me for me rather than anything else, or regardless of something else, surely I should do the same to others?’ With that mind set I began to view people as simply that, people, and it allowed me to be more open with my dating life.

Currently, I’m in a heterosexual (male and female) relationship with my girlfriend (who is also transgender) – however some may claim this as a pansexual relationship since our sex doesn’t necessarily align with our gender.

Whatever the label, I honestly don’t care, I love her and that’s all that matters.

People are beautiful, love is love and that’s what pride is truly about. So stay loud and proud just by being truly you.

Harry

 

 

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